Don't push the bitchy button

Occasionally (like clockwork every three to four weeks actually) I find that I have an unusually short fuse.

Most often it is more emotional, and I find myself dabbing tears in the bathroom, cursing my womanhood, yet secretly grateful that whatever it was, made me more sad than angry, and that I am likely the only one aware of my irritation.

But every once in a while, someone pushes the bitchy button, and it takes unbelievable energy to hang on to the wild temper gnashing its chops, and threatening to commit an act or share thoughts, that definately are not ready for prime time. These often result in a dramatic scene of somesort and horrible moments of regret immediately following the outburst.

Today, someone ignored all warnings and pushed the button, and the beeeyotch is born.

To the button pusher, this is your "The beeyotch top 10":

10) Don't condescend me, especially if I am definately smarter than you are, and in this case, I am and you know it!.
9) Do not assume (it makes an ass ONLY of you) that your thoughts about something are more important than mine, when you have no experience in this, and I get paid for my knowledge.
8) Just because you were "a somebody," somewhere, at one time in your life, does not automatically make you anybody special to me - special in my life is EARNED.
7) In your case, you manage because you are unable to create.
6) Just because the woman you are marrying is ALWAYS a bitch, doesn't mean all women are always bitches, and perhaps its you that brings it out! The difference here, is that you are not buying my ass a house, so I have no need to worry about your feelings.
5) I can speak slower, but in your case it clearly won't help.
4) If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then degredation at your expense just makes me feel better.
3) If I draw lines and circles like John Madden, would it make sense to you then?
2) Wow, your feeling of superiority is astounding when coupled with your obvious incompetence.
1) Keep it up buddy, I can make you bleed for 7 days too!

Okay, maybe not nice, but sometimes you just gotta vent, and it is kinda funny! :O)