Award winning Bread

So about 2 years ago I was in a car accident. Some old lady hit me from behind because she was reading directions instead of driving her car ON THE FREEWAY. I was stopped behind a long line of cars on an exit when she hit me at about 50 miles per hour. My neck has never been the same, and after a year of therapy and more symtoms and no recovery I finally decided to sue.

This was a huge decision for me. I generally feel like most lawsuits are rediculous, but I am in serious pain, even now and have spent a lot of time and money I don't really have, just trying not to get worse. I justify this continually by reminding myself that I was minding my own business, sitting at a stoplight when WHAM! And it is not like she sneezed, or jumped or geez anything, she chose to try to read directions while driving at freeway speed.

She was not hurt.

I clearly have no residual guilt about this at all.

What is the point, and what does this have to do with bread? Well, I got a lawyer. That's a story too, but I will tell it another time. He is the nicest man, yes lawyer and nice man in the same sentence. He really has been unbelievably kind to me, just to be kind, and I am very grateful.

He has a hobby, he bakes bread. Now I shouldn't mention that this is probably not a great pastime for a guy with his health issues, but, it's not. Anyway, he apparently won an award for this one recipe and he beams with pride when he mentions it. I encourage him, it feels good to be nice to him in some small way, and mention that it would be lovely to have the recipe when I am settled into my new house. He has become my away from home father figure.

I get a message from him yesterday that he has made me a loaf of this award winning bread, and has it in the refrigerator, I just need to call. I do. I swing by and pick it up, and listen carefully to the instruction to stop and buy butter because "butter with this bread is just wonderful".

Now before I tell you about the how wonderful this bread is, I feel compelled to tell you that last week, (about a year after he became my lawyer) he suddenly confessed that he has just realized he loves me. He is 60, married happily and I don't think he said it to alert me that he means to pursue me in any way, yet I also feel he meant it in a romantic way, and why does this always fucking happen to me? And why is it never some great single guy in my age range that I also think is fabulous?

It was more like he just had to get it off his chest, but GAWD I wish he hadn't. I cannot lie, I had been recently suspecting that his feelings had deepened but I DID NOT NEED any confirmation of this.

My father and I used to joke that I must have a jerk magnet built in somewhere, if you are generally un-dateable in any way, you seem to be instantly in love with me. I am in my early thirties, and very single, very much looking for a prince charming in my generation to marry and have kids with. I may not be THE hottest chick in town, but I am definately easy on the eyes, smart, often amusing, and generally a good catch. I just can't seem to convince anyone else that lately...er...that I would want to.

So, bless his heart, the bread was stale. I am sure it was quite something when it was fresh, but not so much by the time I tried to eat it. And I am SOOO the kind of person who feels it is my duty to call and lie that is was absolutely fabulous. And I will, tommorrow.