I have recently been receiving feedback from my readers. First of all, I HAVE READERS, this alone is so unbelievable to me, and I am so grateful - THANK YOU!! You really can't know how much I appreciate it or how much it means to me. I will do my best to live up to the kind words you have shared.
The feedback has been so thoughful and has touched me so deeply, thank you for taking the time to visit my sites, and for sending me notes and comments, they are the greatest gift I could have asked for or received.
Blessings to you all!!!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
A few days off
I am taking a few days off from work, it has been a really long time since I have taken any time for myself. This morning is the first time I have woken up (in literally years), with nothing I had to do, and no real stress pending, how cool is that?! :O)
I have officially turned in my thesis, viewers and feedback are necessary, so please visit and comment at: bare feet walking
I was hoping for a little more sun during this mini vacation, but the weather is not cooperating, its been very stormy, yesterday we even had thunder and lightning, and the news said we got about 4 inches of rain. I have a creek in my back yard, its resembling a thin river today and the rush of water is actually louder than the ocean down the street right now.
I always get excited about the upcoming new year, it seems like a fresh start, an opportunity to begin anew and create on a blank canvas. I am very excited about the possibilities of the upcoming year. I have worked very hard and set many things in motion, and I am hopeful that some of those things will begin to grow.
I have officially turned in my thesis, viewers and feedback are necessary, so please visit and comment at: bare feet walking
I was hoping for a little more sun during this mini vacation, but the weather is not cooperating, its been very stormy, yesterday we even had thunder and lightning, and the news said we got about 4 inches of rain. I have a creek in my back yard, its resembling a thin river today and the rush of water is actually louder than the ocean down the street right now.
I always get excited about the upcoming new year, it seems like a fresh start, an opportunity to begin anew and create on a blank canvas. I am very excited about the possibilities of the upcoming year. I have worked very hard and set many things in motion, and I am hopeful that some of those things will begin to grow.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
A special note of thanks to a little angel
One of my readers is partially responsible for my blogs. It was because this angel encouraged me to tell my silly stories, that it occured to me to start writing them down again. Thank you! Wherever you are, I hope you are well and that your life is happy. And you can now groan at my pathetic attempt to write in Spanish: Muchas gracias Angelito, Felize Navidad a tu y la familia :O)
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Surfer Repair
By the time the story finally reaches the last townie, I am sure it will be EPIC and of mythical proportions, because that is how all good surf stories go.
My role is pretty small actually, but I think its entertaining enough to write about.
Sunday morning, I decided to go into town and treat myself to a mocha. It was a glorious weekend here, so bright and sunny. As I was walking back to the car with my friend and neighbor Barbie, we noticed that the water near the pier was full of surfers and some pretty awesome waves. So we decided to walk out to the pier to watch for a while, and enjoy a little sun. One of the things that always brings a smile to my face about watching surfers is how it spans generations, races and genders (still more boyz than girlz though). It is so cool to see the older folks out there and the small kids getting braver and everyone smiling.
I digress.
When we were really ready to go, I stopped to throw my cup in the trash and as I did so, I noticed one of our friends sitting on the retaining wall. He looked kind of out of it and as we got closer we could see that he was injured and bleeding. Turns out that the night before a bunch of locals had road tripped north to a secret spot and he got into a thrashing fight with a reef, puncturing his suit and making a gnarly hole in his leg. Not pretty.
He was clearly in shock, and not looking very well. Having done a lot of first aid in my life and knowing these guys only go to the doctor if strapped to a freakin stretcher, we offered to get the wound cleaned and get him to some kind of health care professional.
Wound cleaning consisted of peroxide, warm water and the most important item: beer for the patient. I am not the most sqeamish person, but I can honestly say that I about passed out, that hole was nasty, skin just isn't supposed to look like that. While doing this, the patient was trying to get a hold of a fellow local who is not only a die hard surfer but also an ER doctor. More proof that my town is small, we flagged the doc down on the road!!!!! And not only did he stop, he couldn't have been nicer!
Doctor gave us props for the clean up, called in a prescription for antibiotics because there looked to be an infection starting already (lots of bacteria in the ocean, don't you know) and told us to bandage him up. We did so and then dropped him off at a friends house for more beer painkillers and of course the Raiders game (we won, oh ya!!) .
A few hours later, I stopped to check on him. The story had already grown, and presently includes things like: "Dude, I was in the water another hour after I got pummled" ; "I surfed one more perfect barrel before I called it quits" ; "I might have died if the girls hadn't come along when they did, I couldn't even feel my leg" yada, yada, yada....
And a new local surf legend is born!
My role is pretty small actually, but I think its entertaining enough to write about.
Sunday morning, I decided to go into town and treat myself to a mocha. It was a glorious weekend here, so bright and sunny. As I was walking back to the car with my friend and neighbor Barbie, we noticed that the water near the pier was full of surfers and some pretty awesome waves. So we decided to walk out to the pier to watch for a while, and enjoy a little sun. One of the things that always brings a smile to my face about watching surfers is how it spans generations, races and genders (still more boyz than girlz though). It is so cool to see the older folks out there and the small kids getting braver and everyone smiling.
I digress.
When we were really ready to go, I stopped to throw my cup in the trash and as I did so, I noticed one of our friends sitting on the retaining wall. He looked kind of out of it and as we got closer we could see that he was injured and bleeding. Turns out that the night before a bunch of locals had road tripped north to a secret spot and he got into a thrashing fight with a reef, puncturing his suit and making a gnarly hole in his leg. Not pretty.
He was clearly in shock, and not looking very well. Having done a lot of first aid in my life and knowing these guys only go to the doctor if strapped to a freakin stretcher, we offered to get the wound cleaned and get him to some kind of health care professional.
Wound cleaning consisted of peroxide, warm water and the most important item: beer for the patient. I am not the most sqeamish person, but I can honestly say that I about passed out, that hole was nasty, skin just isn't supposed to look like that. While doing this, the patient was trying to get a hold of a fellow local who is not only a die hard surfer but also an ER doctor. More proof that my town is small, we flagged the doc down on the road!!!!! And not only did he stop, he couldn't have been nicer!
Doctor gave us props for the clean up, called in a prescription for antibiotics because there looked to be an infection starting already (lots of bacteria in the ocean, don't you know) and told us to bandage him up. We did so and then dropped him off at a friends house for more beer painkillers and of course the Raiders game (we won, oh ya!!) .
A few hours later, I stopped to check on him. The story had already grown, and presently includes things like: "Dude, I was in the water another hour after I got pummled" ; "I surfed one more perfect barrel before I called it quits" ; "I might have died if the girls hadn't come along when they did, I couldn't even feel my leg" yada, yada, yada....
And a new local surf legend is born!
Wahine, why all the surf, sister?
Whats up with all the surf posts?
Well, there are good reasons for this.
First and foremost, I live in a very small coastal town, and a lot of the residents are surfers and several of my friends surf professionally. With only 20 businesses in town, at least 10 are directly related to surfing and water sports, and with hundreds of surfers along the beaches in our general area all day, it is pretty tough to ignore.
I have always been a beach girl, spending as much time near the ocean as possible, and thus have always been plugged in to surf and beach culture. These things alone could be explaination enough, but there is actually even more.
Without revealing anything that could get me fired, I work for a company that has just won a huge surf company account, and have spent the past few weeks logging over 8 hours a day on surfing sites and conducting market research. I literally eat, breath, think and sleep surf right now, so it is no wonder I can scarcely think of anything else to write about.
I am actually considering starting a site about the local surf life and culture here, so as to put all this knowledge to good personal use! :O)
Well, there are good reasons for this.
First and foremost, I live in a very small coastal town, and a lot of the residents are surfers and several of my friends surf professionally. With only 20 businesses in town, at least 10 are directly related to surfing and water sports, and with hundreds of surfers along the beaches in our general area all day, it is pretty tough to ignore.
I have always been a beach girl, spending as much time near the ocean as possible, and thus have always been plugged in to surf and beach culture. These things alone could be explaination enough, but there is actually even more.
Without revealing anything that could get me fired, I work for a company that has just won a huge surf company account, and have spent the past few weeks logging over 8 hours a day on surfing sites and conducting market research. I literally eat, breath, think and sleep surf right now, so it is no wonder I can scarcely think of anything else to write about.
I am actually considering starting a site about the local surf life and culture here, so as to put all this knowledge to good personal use! :O)
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Props
Every morning, on my way to work, for the first few miles I am along side the ocean and a bunch of vehicles parked haphazardly along the bluff. No surprise on the sunny mornings that people are out walking, fishing and surfing - but we have had a lot of mornings that are like 30 degrees or colder lately, and I just have to say that I am seriously impressed with the dedication.
Especially the surfers and kayakers, it has got to be unbelievably freezing cold. Surfers really don't get the respect they deserve as brave athletes, shot put (no offense) has got nothing on it.
If you haven't seen it, I highly reccommend the movie "Step Into Liquid" - I am pretty sure netflix has it - its a great fun documentary and it sheds a nice light on surfers and their culture.
Especially the surfers and kayakers, it has got to be unbelievably freezing cold. Surfers really don't get the respect they deserve as brave athletes, shot put (no offense) has got nothing on it.
If you haven't seen it, I highly reccommend the movie "Step Into Liquid" - I am pretty sure netflix has it - its a great fun documentary and it sheds a nice light on surfers and their culture.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Playin with the band
We (my friend the drummer, and I the singer) have been trying to put the right band together since July, we have played with a myriad of local musicians, all very talented, but the right blend just wasn't coming together...until yesterday. Something really good just clicked with the group that showed up, and I am super excited. It sounded better after one afternoon of newly playing together than any of the local stuff I have heard so far and it sure would be great to
play some of the local pubs and a casual now and then.
**Thanks anonymous for the question! The type of music is a nice combination of some bluesey old country, a little rock from many eras and a few originals from different band members - its good listening and dancing music :O) Our set list from Sunday (that I can recall) was as follows:
Crazy - Patsy Cline/Willie Nelson
Night Life - Willie Nelson
Georgia - Willie Nelson
Picture - Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow
All My Ex's - George Straight
Hotel California - Eagles
Shame On Me - Original - Mike Foster
Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman
As each little thing begins to come to fruition, I
feel a little more confident that I have made the
right choices. I try to focus on the positive, but
not all of it has been super easy. Some days it really
is two steps forward, one step back, and I have a had
a few days that it felt more like I slid all the way
to the beginning. Yesterday was one of those days
that I truly felt like I am where I am supposed to be
and that life is treating me well and it was super
nice to feel that way for a moment.
play some of the local pubs and a casual now and then.
**Thanks anonymous for the question! The type of music is a nice combination of some bluesey old country, a little rock from many eras and a few originals from different band members - its good listening and dancing music :O) Our set list from Sunday (that I can recall) was as follows:
Crazy - Patsy Cline/Willie Nelson
Night Life - Willie Nelson
Georgia - Willie Nelson
Picture - Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow
All My Ex's - George Straight
Hotel California - Eagles
Shame On Me - Original - Mike Foster
Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman
As each little thing begins to come to fruition, I
feel a little more confident that I have made the
right choices. I try to focus on the positive, but
not all of it has been super easy. Some days it really
is two steps forward, one step back, and I have a had
a few days that it felt more like I slid all the way
to the beginning. Yesterday was one of those days
that I truly felt like I am where I am supposed to be
and that life is treating me well and it was super
nice to feel that way for a moment.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday Bean!! :O) Hope its the beginning of a wonderful year!! Thanks for being my very best friend for the past 30 years! xoxox
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Damn tourists!
While visiting with friends down at the pub on
Saturday night, the talk turned to locals verses
tourists and one friends latest experience with the
town council meetings.
It seems that one of our elder citizens is seriously
irate about the "rampant jaywalking" that goes on in
town...
RAMPANT JAYWALKING!
having lived in San Francisco the past few years where
almost all walking is jaywalking and everything seems
rampant, I haven't stopped laughing about this for 4
days.
In all fairness, during tourist season and during
street fairs, its kind of a bitch to get around, and
there are a lot of folks who just cross when and where
they feel like it - but we only have one main street
and the speed limit is 35 and really on a bad day we
are talking like a 35 second pause.
Saturday night, the talk turned to locals verses
tourists and one friends latest experience with the
town council meetings.
It seems that one of our elder citizens is seriously
irate about the "rampant jaywalking" that goes on in
town...
RAMPANT JAYWALKING!
having lived in San Francisco the past few years where
almost all walking is jaywalking and everything seems
rampant, I haven't stopped laughing about this for 4
days.
In all fairness, during tourist season and during
street fairs, its kind of a bitch to get around, and
there are a lot of folks who just cross when and where
they feel like it - but we only have one main street
and the speed limit is 35 and really on a bad day we
are talking like a 35 second pause.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Drunk Bee's - give buzzed a new meaning
When I was little we had 2 peach trees in my back yard, and at the end of the summer as the peaches were spoiling on the tree and on the ground, I noticed that every year the bee's began to act really strangely. The would fly into each other, windows, fences, they would hover in random places, tons of them would begin crawling more than flying. My Dad told me that the bee's were drunk, high off of the fermenting fruit. I thought this was fabulous! I like bee's for some reason, one of my favorite things was my grandfather and now my father telling me that I was "the bee's knees, the cats pajama's and the berries"
I came across this article and thought of my happy little friends:
Drunken Bees Act Like Buzzed Humans
-- Robert Preidt
MONDAY, Oct. 25 (HealthDayNews) -- Buzzed bees may help scientists better understand drunken human behavior, say Ohio State University researchers.
"Alcohol affects bees and humans in similar ways -- it impairs functioning along with learning and memory processing," study co-author Julie Mustard, a postdoctoral researcher in entomology, said in a prepared statement.
She and her colleagues gave various levels of ethanol -- the intoxicating agent in liquor -- to bees and studied the effect this had on their behavior.
The more ethanol they consumed, the more difficulty the bees had flying, walking, standing still and grooming. Some of the bees became so drunk they ended up flat on their backs.
This preliminary study was designed to document the effects of ethanol on the bees. In future studies, the researchers plan to use bees as a model for how alcohol affects humans, particularly at the molecular level.
"On the molecular level, the brains of honey bees and humans work the same. Knowing how chronic alcohol use affects genes and proteins in the honey bee brain may help us eventually understand how alcoholism affects memory and behavior in humans, as well as the molecular basis of addiction," Mustard said.
The study was presented Oct. 23 at the annual Society for Neuroscience conference in San Francisco.
More information
The U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has information about alcohol's effects on the brain.
I came across this article and thought of my happy little friends:
Drunken Bees Act Like Buzzed Humans
-- Robert Preidt
MONDAY, Oct. 25 (HealthDayNews) -- Buzzed bees may help scientists better understand drunken human behavior, say Ohio State University researchers.
"Alcohol affects bees and humans in similar ways -- it impairs functioning along with learning and memory processing," study co-author Julie Mustard, a postdoctoral researcher in entomology, said in a prepared statement.
She and her colleagues gave various levels of ethanol -- the intoxicating agent in liquor -- to bees and studied the effect this had on their behavior.
The more ethanol they consumed, the more difficulty the bees had flying, walking, standing still and grooming. Some of the bees became so drunk they ended up flat on their backs.
This preliminary study was designed to document the effects of ethanol on the bees. In future studies, the researchers plan to use bees as a model for how alcohol affects humans, particularly at the molecular level.
"On the molecular level, the brains of honey bees and humans work the same. Knowing how chronic alcohol use affects genes and proteins in the honey bee brain may help us eventually understand how alcoholism affects memory and behavior in humans, as well as the molecular basis of addiction," Mustard said.
The study was presented Oct. 23 at the annual Society for Neuroscience conference in San Francisco.
More information
The U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has information about alcohol's effects on the brain.
Festival of Lights - the boat parade
What a great way to begin the holiday season, a bunch of beautiful lighted boats, floating through the harbor
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
foot in mouth
so a co-worker made a phone call today that half the
office heard:
AB: Hi, I got a speeding ticket and it needs to be
paid ASAP, if I race out there today to pay in person
will I still be okay
ummm, maybe "race" wasn't the best choice of words
office heard:
AB: Hi, I got a speeding ticket and it needs to be
paid ASAP, if I race out there today to pay in person
will I still be okay
ummm, maybe "race" wasn't the best choice of words
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Thanks
I am grateful for so much
For my Brothers continued health and recovery
For my wonderful family
For my amazing friends
For being able to live in such a beautiful place
For everything I have been blessed with
For new hope
For my own health and continued recovery
For those who have shared in my life
The nice people who read my blogs
I hope that next year I can write that I am grateful for peace in the world, that every child has a warm, safe and loving home and enough food to eat, that everyone is prospering, healthy and joyfully loved and good to each other.
Happy Thanksgiving! XO
For my Brothers continued health and recovery
For my wonderful family
For my amazing friends
For being able to live in such a beautiful place
For everything I have been blessed with
For new hope
For my own health and continued recovery
For those who have shared in my life
The nice people who read my blogs
I hope that next year I can write that I am grateful for peace in the world, that every child has a warm, safe and loving home and enough food to eat, that everyone is prospering, healthy and joyfully loved and good to each other.
Happy Thanksgiving! XO
Monday, November 22, 2004
my mind is at the beach
I highly recommend watching football with a bunch of
aging surfers, it may be one of the most entertaining
days I have ever witnessed in real life...think jeff
spicoli - (fast times at ridgemeont high) times 10
friends and add 15 - 20 years.
Some snippets of conversation overheard:
A: Dude, they suck dude
B: I know dude, I know, we had it man, they suck
B: What, oh my gawd, losers, dude, over it, over it,
dude - watch your mouth we got shorties, hey wheres
the snackies?
A: whats up B?
B: double fisted dude, tripped over "t" and bounced at
the tavey last night, elbow plant, worked it...epic
A: nice
B: dude, where's d-ray? seriously, did d-ray leave?
J: ummm, only about 3 hours ago
B: what!? what happened?
J: his chick did a drive by and kidnapped him so that
their 6 month old could babysit daddy
B: but its his birthday
J: ya, he thought he had the day off
D: Dude there is tang in my hair, or maybe its caviar,
I dont know but its really orange and really sticky,
whats up? Thirsty anyone?
2beermark: what you made more guacamole but no one got
chips? you guys are sharp!
BALerina: I guess they just stopped by to finish off
the beer...nice...wait they DID take Crazy, soooooo
small price!
AND THEN someone decided to teach the little ones
(ages 4 & 7) the fine art of the dice game 24
(typically a bar game)
Bjr: lets see you beat that! (says the 7 year old as
he smacks a solid 24 and lips up)
Bjr: Why can't I take his money dad, he said it was
okay
Bsr: How about because he is your little brother and
he cant even count yet, which kinda makes it unfair...
Toke: what, he rolled the kid? what a loser!! how much
money did he take kid...oh nevermind he gave it to
captain shane-o, so he really just rolled the bigger
kid for the littler one, nice!
The day ended with everyone gathering on the porch to
watch the sunset and hoping for a green flash - we are
so all about the green flash here, and yesterday truly
was a perfect day for it, so sunny, very crisp and no
clouds or fog, but alas, no flash
Brother Bal, thanks for a nice mellow sunny day, and
for helping me make some friends, this has been a
tough transition and I know I cramp your style! ;)
Toke, c'mon its not that bad, hanging out with a chick
just shouldn't seem THAT bad - don't hate, he still
loves you more
Calee, just thanks, especially for the "da bomb" intro
you 12th street butcher block boys are smiley
Barbie, so glad you are my neighbor
Haley, you go girl and how nice are you, the feast is
definately on.
It has taken almost 2 years, but I finally feel like I
live here, I am welcomed, and I have made a few nice
friends.
aging surfers, it may be one of the most entertaining
days I have ever witnessed in real life...think jeff
spicoli - (fast times at ridgemeont high) times 10
friends and add 15 - 20 years.
Some snippets of conversation overheard:
A: Dude, they suck dude
B: I know dude, I know, we had it man, they suck
B: What, oh my gawd, losers, dude, over it, over it,
dude - watch your mouth we got shorties, hey wheres
the snackies?
A: whats up B?
B: double fisted dude, tripped over "t" and bounced at
the tavey last night, elbow plant, worked it...epic
A: nice
B: dude, where's d-ray? seriously, did d-ray leave?
J: ummm, only about 3 hours ago
B: what!? what happened?
J: his chick did a drive by and kidnapped him so that
their 6 month old could babysit daddy
B: but its his birthday
J: ya, he thought he had the day off
D: Dude there is tang in my hair, or maybe its caviar,
I dont know but its really orange and really sticky,
whats up? Thirsty anyone?
2beermark: what you made more guacamole but no one got
chips? you guys are sharp!
BALerina: I guess they just stopped by to finish off
the beer...nice...wait they DID take Crazy, soooooo
small price!
AND THEN someone decided to teach the little ones
(ages 4 & 7) the fine art of the dice game 24
(typically a bar game)
Bjr: lets see you beat that! (says the 7 year old as
he smacks a solid 24 and lips up)
Bjr: Why can't I take his money dad, he said it was
okay
Bsr: How about because he is your little brother and
he cant even count yet, which kinda makes it unfair...
Toke: what, he rolled the kid? what a loser!! how much
money did he take kid...oh nevermind he gave it to
captain shane-o, so he really just rolled the bigger
kid for the littler one, nice!
The day ended with everyone gathering on the porch to
watch the sunset and hoping for a green flash - we are
so all about the green flash here, and yesterday truly
was a perfect day for it, so sunny, very crisp and no
clouds or fog, but alas, no flash
Brother Bal, thanks for a nice mellow sunny day, and
for helping me make some friends, this has been a
tough transition and I know I cramp your style! ;)
Toke, c'mon its not that bad, hanging out with a chick
just shouldn't seem THAT bad - don't hate, he still
loves you more
Calee, just thanks, especially for the "da bomb" intro
you 12th street butcher block boys are smiley
Barbie, so glad you are my neighbor
Haley, you go girl and how nice are you, the feast is
definately on.
It has taken almost 2 years, but I finally feel like I
live here, I am welcomed, and I have made a few nice
friends.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Halloween 2
Now what are the odds that I wear my favorite funny t-shirt (which says "the leprechauns are after my stash") and a party guest would show up dressed as a leprechaun...his wife thought it was hilarious, as did I - here is the proof!
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
A few things I miss about SF
I lived in San Francisco for 3 years and worked there
for a year before that, which is the longest I have
lived anywhere in my adult life, and ironic because at
heart, I am just not a city kid.
I like to go visit the city, and maybe that was part
of it, growing up, it was close enough that I could go
whenever I wanted. I had no deep longing to reside
there, and any magic I found when visiting, was mostly
diminished upon taking up residency.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate it, I got to do and
see some really cool things while I was there, and I
am grateful for that. I just always felt kinda bad
because people would act like it was such an honor to
live there, and I just didn't love it that way.
Of course what I miss the very most are my loved ones
and friends that are still there...
But there are some things I miss and some memories on
my mind, if you have ever been to SF, hope these makes
you smile
walking to lunch everyday
potrero park
movies at the metreon and browsing the stores
walking thru the mission
procuitto sandwiches from the little deli on townsend
mars bar in the dotcom heydays
riding the carousel at YB park the first time I got
laid off
being shown ocean beach
the nice little family at M&M market
the view from my 4th floor office at folsom and 4th
rainbow grocerey
grace cathedrals labyrinth
touring churches to see architecture and art
lunch dates with My Dad & Brother
healthy deli's
indulging in a tourist day occasionally at pier 39
riding the ferry
hiking angel island
the candy store in sauselito
Eliza's
Edible chinese & thai food!!!
Webvan (man that was great!)
My garden at the purplehouse
diversity
community
liberal minded people
city hall at night
the bubble lounge
charles nob hill (the most decadent dinner in town)
breakfast at The Ramp
the parades & festivals
North Beach
Barfly Bingo at Sadies Flying Elephant
for a year before that, which is the longest I have
lived anywhere in my adult life, and ironic because at
heart, I am just not a city kid.
I like to go visit the city, and maybe that was part
of it, growing up, it was close enough that I could go
whenever I wanted. I had no deep longing to reside
there, and any magic I found when visiting, was mostly
diminished upon taking up residency.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate it, I got to do and
see some really cool things while I was there, and I
am grateful for that. I just always felt kinda bad
because people would act like it was such an honor to
live there, and I just didn't love it that way.
Of course what I miss the very most are my loved ones
and friends that are still there...
But there are some things I miss and some memories on
my mind, if you have ever been to SF, hope these makes
you smile
walking to lunch everyday
potrero park
movies at the metreon and browsing the stores
walking thru the mission
procuitto sandwiches from the little deli on townsend
mars bar in the dotcom heydays
riding the carousel at YB park the first time I got
laid off
being shown ocean beach
the nice little family at M&M market
the view from my 4th floor office at folsom and 4th
rainbow grocerey
grace cathedrals labyrinth
touring churches to see architecture and art
lunch dates with My Dad & Brother
healthy deli's
indulging in a tourist day occasionally at pier 39
riding the ferry
hiking angel island
the candy store in sauselito
Eliza's
Edible chinese & thai food!!!
Webvan (man that was great!)
My garden at the purplehouse
diversity
community
liberal minded people
city hall at night
the bubble lounge
charles nob hill (the most decadent dinner in town)
breakfast at The Ramp
the parades & festivals
North Beach
Barfly Bingo at Sadies Flying Elephant
Monday, November 15, 2004
a few thoughts
I live in a town so small we literally don't have a stopsign, and I love it. Tonight the fog is thick and the beach cold and damp. Locals have been in and out of the Tavern and Schooners since they got off work, or in some cases out of bed. Most the locals wander back and forth across the main street between the two. Its not so much about the drinking (at least not for all) but more that they are warm friendly places, with colorful characters and its something to do and somewhere to be, near the water.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Much to post
Time has been a real issue this week. I have some good pics to post of halloween, and a bunch of stuff to get caught up on, but have been lacking the time to get it all together. I plan to get it all up this weekend, so please come back soon, or stay and read whats here. :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Friday, November 05, 2004
A nice thought...
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the
rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to
come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top
of the tree. Share this with other women who are good apples, even
those who have already been picked!!!!
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the
rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to
come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top
of the tree. Share this with other women who are good apples, even
those who have already been picked!!!!
Stunned Silence
I am walking through a nightmare, I seem to be awake, but cannot
reconcile the information around me.
Those of you who thought this election was about moral values have
been effectively conned, this election was about one thing, the future
of the America that was founded by our foremothers and forefathers.
The whole world lost today, not John Kerry, not Democrats, not
Americans, the whole world.
I do not understand how you can be pro-life and support a warmongering president, over a hundred thousand people have died as a result of this war.
reconcile the information around me.
Those of you who thought this election was about moral values have
been effectively conned, this election was about one thing, the future
of the America that was founded by our foremothers and forefathers.
The whole world lost today, not John Kerry, not Democrats, not
Americans, the whole world.
I do not understand how you can be pro-life and support a warmongering president, over a hundred thousand people have died as a result of this war.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Just Do It!
Vote
Please recognize the priveledge and responsibility you have been
given, educate yourself about the facts, and go vote today.
Thank you!
Please recognize the priveledge and responsibility you have been
given, educate yourself about the facts, and go vote today.
Thank you!
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
tick tock
Just one more day! There is so much emotion in the air, it does feel
like literally the fate of the world hangs in the balance.
I could write pages about this, but for now I will leave it at this, I
firmly believe that if that man is re-elected, it will be open season
on America, and we will become the most hated nation worldwide, and
saddest of all, perhaps with good reason.
I pray for "God loving" people that live as embodiments of the
peaceful loving teachings of the worlds religious institutions instead
of the manipulation of the messages for selfish means.
In the meantime, I am scoping out other countries just in case, no
joke, I am going totally expat if they win this election. But then I
wonder, will any place really be safe if that happens, as a more
global culture, it is tough to create real safety and solitude...
Wanted:
Stable democratic country, kind people, nice weather, decent economy
and opportunities, freedom, and affordable living.
Suggestions?
like literally the fate of the world hangs in the balance.
I could write pages about this, but for now I will leave it at this, I
firmly believe that if that man is re-elected, it will be open season
on America, and we will become the most hated nation worldwide, and
saddest of all, perhaps with good reason.
I pray for "God loving" people that live as embodiments of the
peaceful loving teachings of the worlds religious institutions instead
of the manipulation of the messages for selfish means.
In the meantime, I am scoping out other countries just in case, no
joke, I am going totally expat if they win this election. But then I
wonder, will any place really be safe if that happens, as a more
global culture, it is tough to create real safety and solitude...
Wanted:
Stable democratic country, kind people, nice weather, decent economy
and opportunities, freedom, and affordable living.
Suggestions?
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Don't push the bitchy button
Occasionally (like clockwork every three to four weeks actually) I find that I have an unusually short fuse.
Most often it is more emotional, and I find myself dabbing tears in the bathroom, cursing my womanhood, yet secretly grateful that whatever it was, made me more sad than angry, and that I am likely the only one aware of my irritation.
But every once in a while, someone pushes the bitchy button, and it takes unbelievable energy to hang on to the wild temper gnashing its chops, and threatening to commit an act or share thoughts, that definately are not ready for prime time. These often result in a dramatic scene of somesort and horrible moments of regret immediately following the outburst.
Today, someone ignored all warnings and pushed the button, and the beeeyotch is born.
To the button pusher, this is your "The beeyotch top 10":
10) Don't condescend me, especially if I am definately smarter than you are, and in this case, I am and you know it!.
9) Do not assume (it makes an ass ONLY of you) that your thoughts about something are more important than mine, when you have no experience in this, and I get paid for my knowledge.
8) Just because you were "a somebody," somewhere, at one time in your life, does not automatically make you anybody special to me - special in my life is EARNED.
7) In your case, you manage because you are unable to create.
6) Just because the woman you are marrying is ALWAYS a bitch, doesn't mean all women are always bitches, and perhaps its you that brings it out! The difference here, is that you are not buying my ass a house, so I have no need to worry about your feelings.
5) I can speak slower, but in your case it clearly won't help.
4) If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then degredation at your expense just makes me feel better.
3) If I draw lines and circles like John Madden, would it make sense to you then?
2) Wow, your feeling of superiority is astounding when coupled with your obvious incompetence.
1) Keep it up buddy, I can make you bleed for 7 days too!
Okay, maybe not nice, but sometimes you just gotta vent, and it is kinda funny! :O)
Most often it is more emotional, and I find myself dabbing tears in the bathroom, cursing my womanhood, yet secretly grateful that whatever it was, made me more sad than angry, and that I am likely the only one aware of my irritation.
But every once in a while, someone pushes the bitchy button, and it takes unbelievable energy to hang on to the wild temper gnashing its chops, and threatening to commit an act or share thoughts, that definately are not ready for prime time. These often result in a dramatic scene of somesort and horrible moments of regret immediately following the outburst.
Today, someone ignored all warnings and pushed the button, and the beeeyotch is born.
To the button pusher, this is your "The beeyotch top 10":
10) Don't condescend me, especially if I am definately smarter than you are, and in this case, I am and you know it!.
9) Do not assume (it makes an ass ONLY of you) that your thoughts about something are more important than mine, when you have no experience in this, and I get paid for my knowledge.
8) Just because you were "a somebody," somewhere, at one time in your life, does not automatically make you anybody special to me - special in my life is EARNED.
7) In your case, you manage because you are unable to create.
6) Just because the woman you are marrying is ALWAYS a bitch, doesn't mean all women are always bitches, and perhaps its you that brings it out! The difference here, is that you are not buying my ass a house, so I have no need to worry about your feelings.
5) I can speak slower, but in your case it clearly won't help.
4) If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then degredation at your expense just makes me feel better.
3) If I draw lines and circles like John Madden, would it make sense to you then?
2) Wow, your feeling of superiority is astounding when coupled with your obvious incompetence.
1) Keep it up buddy, I can make you bleed for 7 days too!
Okay, maybe not nice, but sometimes you just gotta vent, and it is kinda funny! :O)
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
co-workers to the rescue
apparently one of the folks we work with, who is out of the office on business today, left his sunroof open and windows down, not realizing a big storm was on the way...
Sunday, October 24, 2004
random memory
When I was about 4, my Mom took me shopping for shoes. I needed 2 or 3 pairs, and I imagine money was probably pretty tight for my parents then. I got my little tootsies measured and tried on a few pairs. We bought 3 pair and went out to the car. Mama asked me if I liked my new shoes, and I said said "no", which caused my Mother to ask me a little irritatedley, "why not?"
I told her that the shoes hurt my feet, and she asked me incrediously, "then why did you tell me to buy them for you, Honey?" and I said "because I didn't want to hurt the salesman's feelings, he was nice and I think he really needed us to buy them."
I believe she took me right back in and got a bigger size, but that story is very important because it says a lot about me. It had less to do with his salesmanship and more to do with my odd ability to sense what other people are feeling, and I have always had a tough time tuning out others feelings, often even against my own best interest.
I told her that the shoes hurt my feet, and she asked me incrediously, "then why did you tell me to buy them for you, Honey?" and I said "because I didn't want to hurt the salesman's feelings, he was nice and I think he really needed us to buy them."
I believe she took me right back in and got a bigger size, but that story is very important because it says a lot about me. It had less to do with his salesmanship and more to do with my odd ability to sense what other people are feeling, and I have always had a tough time tuning out others feelings, often even against my own best interest.
Friday, October 22, 2004
My Own Private Island
Whenever I watch Survivor or Lost or anything that has a tropical island feel, I think about how the reclusive part of me would love to have my own private island. I have given it some thought too, there is a very deep natural streak in me that is enticed by the idea of working with the land.
TGIF
Some Friday mornings I just wake up with that wonderful "it's Friday" feelin'!
The promise of a whole weekend in front of me...glorious! And although, I will be working on my thesis a lot this weekend, I really love working from home, and I can take a walk on the beach at least once and enjoy a little more of the day than I usually can during the week.
Happy Friday to all!!
The promise of a whole weekend in front of me...glorious! And although, I will be working on my thesis a lot this weekend, I really love working from home, and I can take a walk on the beach at least once and enjoy a little more of the day than I usually can during the week.
Happy Friday to all!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
walking in the rain
last night I walked on the beach for about 2 hours, it was stormy, humid, windy and fabulous. I ran into a friend along the way who walked with me and put up with my incessant chatting and likely overwhelming exuberance.
I had so much energy, it seemed like I was pulling it from the air, the sky, the power of the storm, the wind, the waves, the peeks of mooonlight, the beauty of nature in action, and the sheer power and awe of it all.
He is the third person who has recently mentioned something along the lines that "he wished he had fun stories to tell," like I do.
So maybe I am wrong, maybe it isn't just that not everyone pays attention, maybe the things that I experience really are unique, not just in their details, but in the fact that I experience them at all.
Interesting...
I had so much energy, it seemed like I was pulling it from the air, the sky, the power of the storm, the wind, the waves, the peeks of mooonlight, the beauty of nature in action, and the sheer power and awe of it all.
He is the third person who has recently mentioned something along the lines that "he wished he had fun stories to tell," like I do.
So maybe I am wrong, maybe it isn't just that not everyone pays attention, maybe the things that I experience really are unique, not just in their details, but in the fact that I experience them at all.
Interesting...
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
and the rain, rain, rain, came down, down, down
We are having our first real rain of the season today, and I am really
hoping that the forecast for actual thunderstorms holds true. It
seems like its been a long time since we have had a really good storm.
You know one of those lock yourself in the house, light up the
fireplace, put something hot on the stove and "cuddle in" with a good
book (or a movie marathon if you have power) while the storm blows all around.
Doesn't that sound nice?
Much better than watching it from the big window behind me at the office....
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday
A few more things I love about Sunday:
Swinging on the swinset at the beach at sunset, its magically delicious!!
Taking random pictures, just because, with your friends, perhaps a little buzzed, then grinning from ear to ear, when looking at them later.
Swinging on the swinset at the beach at sunset, its magically delicious!!
Taking random pictures, just because, with your friends, perhaps a little buzzed, then grinning from ear to ear, when looking at them later.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
are you watching LOST?
okay, how completely engrosing is this show? At moments I realize I am actually holding my breath. there a cheesy moments too, but generally edge of your seat stuff, how totally unstable is locke...and not entirely sure he is the most likely to go postal...
what is charlie gonna do when the dope runs out? what the hell IS that thing out there in the junglemowing down trees like bushes and why doesn't it go to the beach? apparently invisible, because everyone asks did you see it and everone answers no, even when face to face...and how did locke survive it face to face exactly? and who is the dude in a suit wearing white sneakers, toto you definately ARE NOT in kansas anymore...
what is charlie gonna do when the dope runs out? what the hell IS that thing out there in the junglemowing down trees like bushes and why doesn't it go to the beach? apparently invisible, because everyone asks did you see it and everone answers no, even when face to face...and how did locke survive it face to face exactly? and who is the dude in a suit wearing white sneakers, toto you definately ARE NOT in kansas anymore...
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
update: awb
update to award winning bread post 1 and 2
it took me until today to finally call and say thanks for the bread, I SOOO totally and completely suck at those little ettiquette pleasantries.
my pathetic excuse is that I occasionally let life overwhelm me, but its weak.
and the very worst part is that when he thanked me for calling, he told me I was the nicest person he knows, polite to a fault and always looking for the bright side, and that his life is that much more joyful just because my cheerfulness is infectious - well geeze, how unbelievably nice is that and how much more guilty do I feel for not calling before just to freakin say thanks for the bread the guy baked for me with his own two hands - criminy (pausing for desperate gulp, er breath of air)
it took me until today to finally call and say thanks for the bread, I SOOO totally and completely suck at those little ettiquette pleasantries.
my pathetic excuse is that I occasionally let life overwhelm me, but its weak.
and the very worst part is that when he thanked me for calling, he told me I was the nicest person he knows, polite to a fault and always looking for the bright side, and that his life is that much more joyful just because my cheerfulness is infectious - well geeze, how unbelievably nice is that and how much more guilty do I feel for not calling before just to freakin say thanks for the bread the guy baked for me with his own two hands - criminy (pausing for desperate gulp, er breath of air)
Blue Pumpkins
For the record, because I have answered this question AT LEAST 100 times since last Friday - YES, THERE REALLY ARE BLUE PUMPKINS.
No they are not damged, deformed, rotten, not fully ripe , or any other less than edible undesirable thing.
They originate in Australia, but apprently grow well in California, the skin color seems to vary from a light green to a dark purple and everything in between
The insides are orange, just like regular pumpkins, and are highly reccommended for baking.
No they are not damged, deformed, rotten, not fully ripe , or any other less than edible undesirable thing.
They originate in Australia, but apprently grow well in California, the skin color seems to vary from a light green to a dark purple and everything in between
The insides are orange, just like regular pumpkins, and are highly reccommended for baking.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
a few good stories
Several years ago now, I was driving and listening to the radio, and this guy had called in and was telling the DJ about this "one great weekend of debauchery" that he thought was such a "GREAT STORY".
I have no idea why I didn't change the station because the story was completely lame and even more poorly told, but I digress... at the end he said something that really struck me:
"Most people are lucky if they have one or two good stories in life, and that is one of mine."
Now, of course, I HAVE to say that I think the fact that his stupid story was was one of his best is pretty damn sad, but aside from the subjectiveness of the quality of either the stories' content or delivery........
One or two good stories?? Okay probably a few more yes, but DAMN, is that common? People say to me sometimes that they think it is so cool that I have all these stories I tell, but I have always thought that a lot people just don't pay attention, it's not that they don't have things that are noteworthy that happen to them. In fairness, this may not be high on everyone's priority list. For me however, this is paramount, and by that, then, I am blessed.
I have no idea why I didn't change the station because the story was completely lame and even more poorly told, but I digress... at the end he said something that really struck me:
"Most people are lucky if they have one or two good stories in life, and that is one of mine."
Now, of course, I HAVE to say that I think the fact that his stupid story was was one of his best is pretty damn sad, but aside from the subjectiveness of the quality of either the stories' content or delivery........
One or two good stories?? Okay probably a few more yes, but DAMN, is that common? People say to me sometimes that they think it is so cool that I have all these stories I tell, but I have always thought that a lot people just don't pay attention, it's not that they don't have things that are noteworthy that happen to them. In fairness, this may not be high on everyone's priority list. For me however, this is paramount, and by that, then, I am blessed.
Friday, October 08, 2004
A nice start to a Friday morning
What a GREAT Horoscope I got today!! I always take
them with a grain of salt, but still!!
Capricorn
Maybe you seized the moment, or maybe you dropped the
ball. Whatever happened, it's in the past and it's
going to stay there. Now it's time to look forward to
the future. You'll find plenty more where that came
from. The best way to find perspective is by helping
other people. If romance is on your mind, know that
it's always a possibility. If you don't think you're
in the mood for it, just wait. The right situation
will make you forget about everything that came before.
them with a grain of salt, but still!!
Capricorn
Maybe you seized the moment, or maybe you dropped the
ball. Whatever happened, it's in the past and it's
going to stay there. Now it's time to look forward to
the future. You'll find plenty more where that came
from. The best way to find perspective is by helping
other people. If romance is on your mind, know that
it's always a possibility. If you don't think you're
in the mood for it, just wait. The right situation
will make you forget about everything that came before.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Things I love about the Central Coast
Joose is my favorite local band - they have a great blended sound (& their cute too!)
Schooners is my favorite hangout - whats not to love: cocktails, great food, local characters & a stellar view!
this is our local beach cam it sits atop a lovely little hotel in our little town, just about 30 steps away from Schooners.
Schooners is my favorite hangout - whats not to love: cocktails, great food, local characters & a stellar view!
this is our local beach cam it sits atop a lovely little hotel in our little town, just about 30 steps away from Schooners.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Sunday, October 03, 2004
A few things I love about Sunday
puttering around the house
singing willie nelson songs while puttering
champagne brunch (eggs over easy, bacon, wheat toast & crispy hashrowns are also nice!)
making a really yummy dinner
phone calls to and from loved ones
reading a good book
watching movies all day
walking on the beach
watching the sunset
a long hot bath
the glorious feeling that there is nothing that MUST be done
singing willie nelson songs while puttering
champagne brunch (eggs over easy, bacon, wheat toast & crispy hashrowns are also nice!)
making a really yummy dinner
phone calls to and from loved ones
reading a good book
watching movies all day
walking on the beach
watching the sunset
a long hot bath
the glorious feeling that there is nothing that MUST be done
Things you can learn from the town drunk
A little confidence goes a long way
Your real friends forgive you, even when you don't deserve it
Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean you possess no talents
Compliment everyone
If you drink enough, it doesn't really matter!
Your real friends forgive you, even when you don't deserve it
Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean you possess no talents
Compliment everyone
If you drink enough, it doesn't really matter!
Thursday, September 30, 2004
living office space
"hi, it's me...okay question for you... is it just me?
i spend all day at work scared i'm going to get laid off or fired, but every moment away from work daydreaming about different ways i could turn in my notice."
word brother, WORD!!
i spend all day at work scared i'm going to get laid off or fired, but every moment away from work daydreaming about different ways i could turn in my notice."
word brother, WORD!!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
shake, rattle & roll
It has been an odd day, complete with earthquakes, deep discussions, more soul searching, and major anxiety about everything and really nothing, at the same time.
How was your day?
How was your day?
Monday, September 27, 2004
I blog, therefore I am...
What in the world did I do before I blogged? I don't mean with my time, I have plenty to do, too much - most of the time. I mean, what do I with all of these thoughts in my head! Ya know?
I am so freakin grateful to be well again, it's just generally good to be alive, thank all goodness!
Last week was all about illness and recovery, so many vitamins and herbs and hotstuff and resting and working enough in between all of that to meet my deadlines...in short...REALLY fun.
This week is all about getting things done. The "To Do" list is FAT.
All that said, Las Vegas is on tonight, and that is THE best thing about Monday!!
I am so freakin grateful to be well again, it's just generally good to be alive, thank all goodness!
Last week was all about illness and recovery, so many vitamins and herbs and hotstuff and resting and working enough in between all of that to meet my deadlines...in short...REALLY fun.
This week is all about getting things done. The "To Do" list is FAT.
All that said, Las Vegas is on tonight, and that is THE best thing about Monday!!
Monday, September 20, 2004
not very healthy...
So I am just going to generally suppose here that perhaps last weeks's blog diet may not have been real high in the nutrition area, being that I have a fever and all manner of disgusting, unpleasant flu symptoms.
The get well diet goes something like this:
enough vitamin c to kill a large animal
echinecea, echinecea, echinecea
Fruits, fruit juice, and more fruit
hot liquid of any kind
occasional food
tablespoons of honey
hot soup
makes me kinda wish i had just easten decent dinners last week :O)
The get well diet goes something like this:
enough vitamin c to kill a large animal
echinecea, echinecea, echinecea
Fruits, fruit juice, and more fruit
hot liquid of any kind
occasional food
tablespoons of honey
hot soup
makes me kinda wish i had just easten decent dinners last week :O)
Thursday, September 16, 2004
the blog diet
I accidentally went on the blog diet and have lost 5 pounds (which I likely gained back today). I have been so busy blogging at night that I have literally forgotten to eat dinner this whole week. I am so burnt after working all day and blogging at night, that by the time I realize I have to go to bed and I really should be hungry, I am just too tired to care.
It may not be healthy, but its working, especially when I have a decently balanced lunch. Today was no such day, so if I end up blogging all night, probably a good thing.
It may not be healthy, but its working, especially when I have a decently balanced lunch. Today was no such day, so if I end up blogging all night, probably a good thing.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
update: AWB
update to award winning bread post
I did not call about the bread, I just can't bring myself to do this. How lame am I? I HAVE to do this tommorrow, have to, have to, have to. It should be so simple, "hi, the bread was fabulous, thanks so much!" I can even leave it on voicemail if I am crafty, yet it seems HARD!
I did not call about the bread, I just can't bring myself to do this. How lame am I? I HAVE to do this tommorrow, have to, have to, have to. It should be so simple, "hi, the bread was fabulous, thanks so much!" I can even leave it on voicemail if I am crafty, yet it seems HARD!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
30 something looo-whoo-zer
ok, I'm home blogging and watching big brother 5, but at least I am drinking champagne and smoking a cigarette while doing so. It COULD be more pathetic.
I try to console myself with life's little luxuries whenever possible.
The Michael-Nakomis half sibling drama is unfolding and he has just voted his sister out...it could NOT be more pathetic.
The most exciting thing in my love life was last night season premiere of Las Vegas, vicariously living through Danny McCoy's marriage proposal to Mary. I am embarrased to admit that it actually brought tears to my eyes. How freakin cute is Josh Dushamel? Mary would have to be dead not to say yes to him! (funny, that was accidental, there was the whole mortician sub-plot) I would even live in Vegas to spend time with that man, and Vegas just isn't a place I could probaly live in.
It's my ex-boyfriends birthday, and it brings it all to mind. It was one of those breakups where you are both still very much in love, but for reasons that feel beyond your control, it just is not going to work. The best part was that we had a great friendship, and I miss it, very much. Uh well, no point dwelling on the past. So you smack yourself upside the head and try to think of something else. How about them Raiders...
I try to console myself with life's little luxuries whenever possible.
The Michael-Nakomis half sibling drama is unfolding and he has just voted his sister out...it could NOT be more pathetic.
The most exciting thing in my love life was last night season premiere of Las Vegas, vicariously living through Danny McCoy's marriage proposal to Mary. I am embarrased to admit that it actually brought tears to my eyes. How freakin cute is Josh Dushamel? Mary would have to be dead not to say yes to him! (funny, that was accidental, there was the whole mortician sub-plot) I would even live in Vegas to spend time with that man, and Vegas just isn't a place I could probaly live in.
It's my ex-boyfriends birthday, and it brings it all to mind. It was one of those breakups where you are both still very much in love, but for reasons that feel beyond your control, it just is not going to work. The best part was that we had a great friendship, and I miss it, very much. Uh well, no point dwelling on the past. So you smack yourself upside the head and try to think of something else. How about them Raiders...
Award winning Bread
So about 2 years ago I was in a car accident. Some old lady hit me from behind because she was reading directions instead of driving her car ON THE FREEWAY. I was stopped behind a long line of cars on an exit when she hit me at about 50 miles per hour. My neck has never been the same, and after a year of therapy and more symtoms and no recovery I finally decided to sue.
This was a huge decision for me. I generally feel like most lawsuits are rediculous, but I am in serious pain, even now and have spent a lot of time and money I don't really have, just trying not to get worse. I justify this continually by reminding myself that I was minding my own business, sitting at a stoplight when WHAM! And it is not like she sneezed, or jumped or geez anything, she chose to try to read directions while driving at freeway speed.
She was not hurt.
I clearly have no residual guilt about this at all.
What is the point, and what does this have to do with bread? Well, I got a lawyer. That's a story too, but I will tell it another time. He is the nicest man, yes lawyer and nice man in the same sentence. He really has been unbelievably kind to me, just to be kind, and I am very grateful.
He has a hobby, he bakes bread. Now I shouldn't mention that this is probably not a great pastime for a guy with his health issues, but, it's not. Anyway, he apparently won an award for this one recipe and he beams with pride when he mentions it. I encourage him, it feels good to be nice to him in some small way, and mention that it would be lovely to have the recipe when I am settled into my new house. He has become my away from home father figure.
I get a message from him yesterday that he has made me a loaf of this award winning bread, and has it in the refrigerator, I just need to call. I do. I swing by and pick it up, and listen carefully to the instruction to stop and buy butter because "butter with this bread is just wonderful".
Now before I tell you about the how wonderful this bread is, I feel compelled to tell you that last week, (about a year after he became my lawyer) he suddenly confessed that he has just realized he loves me. He is 60, married happily and I don't think he said it to alert me that he means to pursue me in any way, yet I also feel he meant it in a romantic way, and why does this always fucking happen to me? And why is it never some great single guy in my age range that I also think is fabulous?
It was more like he just had to get it off his chest, but GAWD I wish he hadn't. I cannot lie, I had been recently suspecting that his feelings had deepened but I DID NOT NEED any confirmation of this.
My father and I used to joke that I must have a jerk magnet built in somewhere, if you are generally un-dateable in any way, you seem to be instantly in love with me. I am in my early thirties, and very single, very much looking for a prince charming in my generation to marry and have kids with. I may not be THE hottest chick in town, but I am definately easy on the eyes, smart, often amusing, and generally a good catch. I just can't seem to convince anyone else that lately...er...that I would want to.
So, bless his heart, the bread was stale. I am sure it was quite something when it was fresh, but not so much by the time I tried to eat it. And I am SOOO the kind of person who feels it is my duty to call and lie that is was absolutely fabulous. And I will, tommorrow.
This was a huge decision for me. I generally feel like most lawsuits are rediculous, but I am in serious pain, even now and have spent a lot of time and money I don't really have, just trying not to get worse. I justify this continually by reminding myself that I was minding my own business, sitting at a stoplight when WHAM! And it is not like she sneezed, or jumped or geez anything, she chose to try to read directions while driving at freeway speed.
She was not hurt.
I clearly have no residual guilt about this at all.
What is the point, and what does this have to do with bread? Well, I got a lawyer. That's a story too, but I will tell it another time. He is the nicest man, yes lawyer and nice man in the same sentence. He really has been unbelievably kind to me, just to be kind, and I am very grateful.
He has a hobby, he bakes bread. Now I shouldn't mention that this is probably not a great pastime for a guy with his health issues, but, it's not. Anyway, he apparently won an award for this one recipe and he beams with pride when he mentions it. I encourage him, it feels good to be nice to him in some small way, and mention that it would be lovely to have the recipe when I am settled into my new house. He has become my away from home father figure.
I get a message from him yesterday that he has made me a loaf of this award winning bread, and has it in the refrigerator, I just need to call. I do. I swing by and pick it up, and listen carefully to the instruction to stop and buy butter because "butter with this bread is just wonderful".
Now before I tell you about the how wonderful this bread is, I feel compelled to tell you that last week, (about a year after he became my lawyer) he suddenly confessed that he has just realized he loves me. He is 60, married happily and I don't think he said it to alert me that he means to pursue me in any way, yet I also feel he meant it in a romantic way, and why does this always fucking happen to me? And why is it never some great single guy in my age range that I also think is fabulous?
It was more like he just had to get it off his chest, but GAWD I wish he hadn't. I cannot lie, I had been recently suspecting that his feelings had deepened but I DID NOT NEED any confirmation of this.
My father and I used to joke that I must have a jerk magnet built in somewhere, if you are generally un-dateable in any way, you seem to be instantly in love with me. I am in my early thirties, and very single, very much looking for a prince charming in my generation to marry and have kids with. I may not be THE hottest chick in town, but I am definately easy on the eyes, smart, often amusing, and generally a good catch. I just can't seem to convince anyone else that lately...er...that I would want to.
So, bless his heart, the bread was stale. I am sure it was quite something when it was fresh, but not so much by the time I tried to eat it. And I am SOOO the kind of person who feels it is my duty to call and lie that is was absolutely fabulous. And I will, tommorrow.
tucker max and the case for the existence of God
Yes, I do know that the two of them have absolutely nothing in common on the surface except maybe if you believe in God, then God probably created Tucker.
Today, I noticed that for about 30 minutes I had been going back and forth between reading a Tucker Max blog and an article about the existense of God and well, I had to laugh. This, more than probably any other thing I could write, describes me in a nutshell.
If you do not know about Tucker, then you will have to visit tuckermax.com (the irony of this should become blindingly apparent)
Tucker amuses and frightens me, often and in equal measures. In some respects we are the same person, so much that I am sure we cannot exist in the same space and time. In others, not even from the same galaxy. He is a great character, and I love a good character as much as I love a good story.
God also amuses and frightens me, and often some who proclaim to be "his" people freak me the hell out.
I am on some sort of info gathering quest right now that lacks any explaination, its like being in a store and the salesperson follows you around and you just want to scream, "I'm just looking!" you don't know for what, you just are, and you know that if you find what is is you dont know that you are looking for, you will know it when it shows up.
Okay, that actually could be my whole life in a nutshell also!
Today, I noticed that for about 30 minutes I had been going back and forth between reading a Tucker Max blog and an article about the existense of God and well, I had to laugh. This, more than probably any other thing I could write, describes me in a nutshell.
If you do not know about Tucker, then you will have to visit tuckermax.com (the irony of this should become blindingly apparent)
Tucker amuses and frightens me, often and in equal measures. In some respects we are the same person, so much that I am sure we cannot exist in the same space and time. In others, not even from the same galaxy. He is a great character, and I love a good character as much as I love a good story.
God also amuses and frightens me, and often some who proclaim to be "his" people freak me the hell out.
I am on some sort of info gathering quest right now that lacks any explaination, its like being in a store and the salesperson follows you around and you just want to scream, "I'm just looking!" you don't know for what, you just are, and you know that if you find what is is you dont know that you are looking for, you will know it when it shows up.
Okay, that actually could be my whole life in a nutshell also!
Monday, September 13, 2004
i dont want to hear it
I really do not need to know if you are getting married, buying a house, or finding yourself wildly successful at your own new small business, or just thrilled with your job. I wish everyone the absolute best of everything, and am genuinely happy for anyone who achieves any measure of joy, success and love, but right now, I really do not want to hear about it.
It truly seems like every single person I have spoken to recently is simply gushing about one of the above. I presently find myself completely single, totally renting, not really loving my work, and thoroughly frustrated by the constraints I find myself struggling against in the quest towards achieving any of my dreams.
I am a pretty cheerful and rational person most of the time, but I too have my limits, and today I really felt like I had been kicked in the stomach and haven't quite been able to shake it.
All of my life I have felt as though I am supposed to do something really huge and important, and that I would have a good life, and yet, I cannot seem to figure out how to achieve that and I see time and life passing me by at an alarming rate. Surviving takes a great deal of energy, and doing everything by myself is a big weight. I am plain and simply tired. There just has to be more, but I lack confidence that I have any energy left to nurture that and am secretly beginning to wonder if it is even possible. Some day's, everything just feels really big, and really scary. But, "...I will survive..hey, hey..."
Cheers to all that are making it happen, cheers to all that are still struggling, cheers to all. And now I seriously need a cold beer!
It truly seems like every single person I have spoken to recently is simply gushing about one of the above. I presently find myself completely single, totally renting, not really loving my work, and thoroughly frustrated by the constraints I find myself struggling against in the quest towards achieving any of my dreams.
I am a pretty cheerful and rational person most of the time, but I too have my limits, and today I really felt like I had been kicked in the stomach and haven't quite been able to shake it.
All of my life I have felt as though I am supposed to do something really huge and important, and that I would have a good life, and yet, I cannot seem to figure out how to achieve that and I see time and life passing me by at an alarming rate. Surviving takes a great deal of energy, and doing everything by myself is a big weight. I am plain and simply tired. There just has to be more, but I lack confidence that I have any energy left to nurture that and am secretly beginning to wonder if it is even possible. Some day's, everything just feels really big, and really scary. But, "...I will survive..hey, hey..."
Cheers to all that are making it happen, cheers to all that are still struggling, cheers to all. And now I seriously need a cold beer!
unfreakingbelievable!!!!
I am out of the football pool AGAIN in the first flippin week! Disgusted!! I have to admit, I even wasted some of my precious time on a spreadsheet. Don't get me wrong, I did not necessarily expect to win but I thought I would at least get a few weeks out of it this year! Looo-hoo-hoo -ooo-zzz-er! Well, at least I still have the fantasy league...
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Football: pools, fantasy, etc.
I just never was a big football fan. I liked watching baseball, at the ballpark. My Dad never really seemed to be a football fan, but then suddenly he was was, and my brother had been growing into one, and my StepDad liked it a lot but adored Basketball...
I moved last year back to my coastal college town, and found myself joining a football pool with my roommate. It gave us something to talk about when we went out and it became really fun to go out and watch a game somewhere and cheer with the other pleasantly buzzed folks in the bar; and the prospect of winning a little money wasn't so bad either. ;O)
So this year, when a co-worker and friend said they needed me to join the fantasy league, and it occurred to me that it could ultimately help me win the football pool...Of course I caved, and joined.
I find it somewhat surprising that I am now involved in 2 football related pastimes, that require the watching and study of football, which I am learning to enjoy, but still never really had a big desire for. Oh, and one more thing: like I really have time for this, too!! Well, a girl has to have a few pastimes right, oh wait, I do, about 100 of them that I am already not getting to! It really is fun to notice sometimes, what you find yourself unexpectedly and sort of out of character doing and then wondering where it will lead...
I need Kansas City to win today to stay in this years pool, last year I got eliminated on the first freakin game, I am really hoping to go all the way this year...go Chiefs, please!
I am at heart a Raiders fan, but this year is beginning to look at lot like last year, hang on to your helmets fans!
I moved last year back to my coastal college town, and found myself joining a football pool with my roommate. It gave us something to talk about when we went out and it became really fun to go out and watch a game somewhere and cheer with the other pleasantly buzzed folks in the bar; and the prospect of winning a little money wasn't so bad either. ;O)
So this year, when a co-worker and friend said they needed me to join the fantasy league, and it occurred to me that it could ultimately help me win the football pool...Of course I caved, and joined.
I find it somewhat surprising that I am now involved in 2 football related pastimes, that require the watching and study of football, which I am learning to enjoy, but still never really had a big desire for. Oh, and one more thing: like I really have time for this, too!! Well, a girl has to have a few pastimes right, oh wait, I do, about 100 of them that I am already not getting to! It really is fun to notice sometimes, what you find yourself unexpectedly and sort of out of character doing and then wondering where it will lead...
I need Kansas City to win today to stay in this years pool, last year I got eliminated on the first freakin game, I am really hoping to go all the way this year...go Chiefs, please!
I am at heart a Raiders fan, but this year is beginning to look at lot like last year, hang on to your helmets fans!
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Tuckers & Hangers
So, I have this theory. I guess you could say its similar to the whole men prefer either Ginger or MaryAnn thing, or left-brained vs. right-brained, and it basically goes like this: Most people fall into 2 categories and you can tell a lot about a person by deciding which they are. Some, like any stereotype, fall somewhere in between (ie: mostly one or the other, or a fairly integrated both)
Tuckers - simply defined- are those who feel it necessary to tuck their shirts in, not because they have to, but because it doesn't "feel right" not to.
Hangers then, are those who only tuck in their shirts when necessary.
Sounds rediculous? Try it.
~ Pick a day
~ Make an effort to check out everyone you can see
~ Notice first whether their shirt is tucked or hanging
~ Try to discerne if this is by choice or by force (picking a weekend day helps with this a lot)
~ Once you believe they are a "T" or an "H" begin to observe things about their personality
I myself am a natural Hanger - 100%, I absolutely hate tucking my shirt in, and always have. Verses my ex-fiance a complete Tucker. I will use he and I as an example below for your reference:
Me: liberal - Him: conservative
Me: spiritual - Him: religious
Me: funloving - Him: safety first
Me: beach girl - Him: mountain boy
I don't at all imply (nor feel) that one is better than another, just a notice that was observed while I was teaching 5 year olds one year. It's an informal personality test if you will, fun at parties, and not a bad little guide when picking friends or lovers - you may notice I said ex-fiance, wonderful person (love him still...er...maybe too much) however in our case, a 100% Tucker and a 100% Hanger wasn't so much a positive in the long term department. However, I do have some great Tucker friends, many of whom love this little game; and me...Hanger and all! Enjoy!
Tuckers - simply defined- are those who feel it necessary to tuck their shirts in, not because they have to, but because it doesn't "feel right" not to.
Hangers then, are those who only tuck in their shirts when necessary.
Sounds rediculous? Try it.
~ Pick a day
~ Make an effort to check out everyone you can see
~ Notice first whether their shirt is tucked or hanging
~ Try to discerne if this is by choice or by force (picking a weekend day helps with this a lot)
~ Once you believe they are a "T" or an "H" begin to observe things about their personality
I myself am a natural Hanger - 100%, I absolutely hate tucking my shirt in, and always have. Verses my ex-fiance a complete Tucker. I will use he and I as an example below for your reference:
Me: liberal - Him: conservative
Me: spiritual - Him: religious
Me: funloving - Him: safety first
Me: beach girl - Him: mountain boy
I don't at all imply (nor feel) that one is better than another, just a notice that was observed while I was teaching 5 year olds one year. It's an informal personality test if you will, fun at parties, and not a bad little guide when picking friends or lovers - you may notice I said ex-fiance, wonderful person (love him still...er...maybe too much) however in our case, a 100% Tucker and a 100% Hanger wasn't so much a positive in the long term department. However, I do have some great Tucker friends, many of whom love this little game; and me...Hanger and all! Enjoy!
Note: this is for silly fun only!!
Life - a full time job
Have you ever noticed that life can be a full time job? Between watering the yard, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, paying bills and everything in between, how am I supposed to create time for work - and I am single, no kids...how can I have kids, they would starve, I can barely get myself fed 2 meals a day!
Okay, granted, I usually work no less than 50 hours per week and often much more, and this likely accounts for a great deal of my time shortage but still, we do seem to have reverted from the golden days of the employee market dot com era back to something way too close to the indentured servitude model. You feel me? "...anyone...anyone...Bueller...?"
I couldn't be the only one who feels this way, and I know that comparitively I probably dont have it that bad, but seriously, am I the only one who is simply exhausted just trying to get through the mundane details of life? And then everyone wonders why I don't have a boyfriend, it really can't be such a mystery can it? Who has time? :O)
Okay, granted, I usually work no less than 50 hours per week and often much more, and this likely accounts for a great deal of my time shortage but still, we do seem to have reverted from the golden days of the employee market dot com era back to something way too close to the indentured servitude model. You feel me? "...anyone...anyone...Bueller...?"
I couldn't be the only one who feels this way, and I know that comparitively I probably dont have it that bad, but seriously, am I the only one who is simply exhausted just trying to get through the mundane details of life? And then everyone wonders why I don't have a boyfriend, it really can't be such a mystery can it? Who has time? :O)
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